Jack Webb on How to Deal with the TSA

Dedicated to the TSA

This song was written, recorded, and animated by my wife in a single morning. God, I love her. Like the last one, it’s “dedicated to the drooling perverts of the Transportation Security Administration.”

TSA: You Can’t Take the Sky From Me

This poster was inspired TJ Radcliffe’s poem, which was in turn named after River Tam’s line (“Two by two, hands of blue”) from Firefly. Ironically appropriate, although I don’t know if Radcliffe realized that, given the theme song for that show:

QOTD

“Based on a back of the envelope calculation with a 50 KVp Bremsstrahlung spectrum and the standard mass absorption coefficients for soft tissue, X-ray backscatter machines will, if widely deployed, almost certainly kill far more people than the terrorists they are supposed to protect us from.”
–TJ Radcliffe

My song didn’t even get into the radiation hazards of the new TSA regimen. Perhaps that’ll be in the sequel…

A Brief History of Invaded Privacy

The full graphic is below the cut.

Presenting… Sing Along With Airport Security!

I wrote a song about it, wanna hear it, here it goes…

(To the tune of “Touch Me” from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.)

UPDATE: And my wife wrote another song!

You Gonna Get Groped

Continuing the Fly the Sexual Abuse Skies topic (check the comments there for several updates), we only have one piece of good news: Muslims are not going to get a religious exemption to TSA screenings. Apparently even our government is incapable of breaking that far from reality (at least, not after the recent elections). As it turns out, there’s no law requiring airports to use TSA security personnel; so Minneapolis airport has apparently hinted that it’s considering private screeners instead of TSA. Not that this is a cause for optimism, since private screeners would be unlikely to be too different or more effective than the TSA. If they actually tried common-sense procedures (including profiling) they’d be sued back into the stone age by Islamic groups like CAIR (who’ve only recently left the stone age and thus know the way). They’d certainly never be able to adopt the procedures used by Israel which make them the safest in the world without requiring airport security to physically count the number of testicles each man is carrying.

(Picture H/T: Iowahawk)

Former TSA security director Mo McGowan admits that the Fourth Amendment is being violated but insists “we’re going to have to do it” anyway. The TSA is actually investigating John Tyner, threatening fines over $10,000, for refusing to be searched and leaving the airport. Others are bringing suits against the TSA:

“In one shocking incident, TSA goons pulled down woman’s blouse, exposing her breasts, and laughed about it.”

And this is all before the latest expansion of TSA procedures which allows them to put their hands down your pants. As someone observed, we’ve been getting screwed by the government for years – now they’re finally giving us foreplay.

Fly The Sexual Abuse Skies

I personally haven’t flown anywhere in five years, because I thought airport security was getting unreasonable back then. Apparently, I hadn’t seen anything yet; but if I flew today, airport security would get to see it all. It remains an open question of how many other people will also get to see (H/T GoV) your p0rnoscanner pictures – in England, after a celebrity went through a body scanner, security personnel printed out his nude scan and asked him to autograph it. Tens of thousands of images are known to have been saved from a millimeter wave system at the security checkpoint of a single Florida courthouse, despite ongoing claims by the TSA that such things are impossible.

However, even though I haven’t personally been subjected to the machines (or the alternate opt-out body search which follows new prison-shower-room parameters), airport security and protests against it have been much in the news lately. A pilot has refused the scan for privacy issues, although airline unions have raised concerns about the health issue of frequent X-rays for their personnel who have to go through them every time they go on a flight. (The same health concerns apply to any frequent travelers, or other people who are particularly vulnerable to X-rays like pregnant women and children. My wife pointed out that women also get X-rays more frequently as they get older because of mammograms, although I believe ObamaCare is trying to remove that concern – they already advocate reducing mammograms as a money-saving measure.) Another man, John Tyner, was ejected from an airport and threatened with a fine when he refused to go through either the scanner or allow himself to be groped.

Sign On San Diego — …He may not be the first traveler tossed from an airport for security reasons but he could well be the first to have the whole experience captured on his cell phone. During the next half-hour, his cell phone recorded Tyner refusing to submit to a full body scan, opting for the traditional metal scanner and a basic “pat down” – and then refusing to submit to a “groin check” by a TSA security guard. He even told the guard, “You touch my junk and I’m going to have you arrested.” …

“OK, I don’t understand how a sexual assault can be made a condition of my flying.”
“This is not considered a sexual assault,” replied the supervisor, calmly.
“It would be if you were not the government,” said Tyner.
“By buying your ticket you gave up a lot of rights,” countered the TSA supervisor.
“I think the government took them away after 9/11,” said Tyner.

The TSA thugs are even performing full-body searches on small children, which is yet another reason why I’m not taking my family into an airport any time soon.