The Whole Gore-y Story

There was some comedy and mockery, at least in the right-wing blogosphere, after the announcement that Al and Tipper Gore were planning to separate after forty years of marriage. Even though something very serious must have happened to allow Tipper enough motivation to achieve escape velocity from Al’s enormous mass, the rest of the world (particularly the MSM) accepted at face value the statement that the divorce was not in any way the result of any infidelity or cheating – even though some of us wondered why they’d be so quick as to rebut an accusation which nobody had made if there weren’t an underlying reason… But, since the Goracle is the beloved of the mainstream media, you would certainly not expect to see any speculation or actual reporting coming from them. After all, it’s not like he’s a Republican or anything. So, naturally, it was left to a media source with more integrity and credibility than the MSM – The National Enquirer – to break the news:

AL GORE has been accused of sexually attacking a masseuse in Portland, Oregon – and is named in the official police report about the alleged assault, The ENQUIRER has learned exclusively! The bombshell story will appear in the new issue of The ENQUIRER and will include the secret police documents, a photo of the woman making the stunning charges and will reveal the shocking details about the pants she saved as evidence!

Some were quick to discount or ignore the story, just as they did when the Enquirer broke the John Edwards story. However, the woman involved has recently spoken out about the 2006 incident (police report), which was reopened in 2009 (interviews and police report), so the Enquirer is vindicated again. (If only they could finally produce that love child of Elvis and Bigfoot.) It goes without saying that there had to be plenty of people in the media and in political circles who were fully aware of all this, and that it is only Nobel Prize Winner Al Gore’s prestige among the left-wing intelligentsia which has kept it a secret for so long. With Republicans, if a scandal like this doesn’t already exist, the MSM can sometimes be relied upon to make one up.

(NSFW Image)

Manbearpig. He is real. I am so super serial.

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4 Responses to “The Whole Gore-y Story”

  1. Fenway_Nation Says:

    No Happy Ending for the Goracle!

  2. squatch Says:

    That’s 10 carbon credits for heavy breathing.
    Poor Al has to pay to get in the lock box ?
    For shame, Al.

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