Shake Shake Sheik

BEIRUT (AP) – A senior Iranian cleric says women who wear revealing clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes. (H/T: OldLineTexan)

Well, promiscuous women in revealing clothing have been known to rock my world from time to time. Still, if that were true, wouldn’t you see more earthquakes in areas where more skin is displayed (I’m looking at you, Rio!) and less in countries where women are hidden under tarpaulins?

Iran is one of the world’s most earthquake-prone countries, and the cleric’s unusual explanation for why the earth shakes follows a prediction by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad that a quake is certain to hit Tehran and that many of its 12 million inhabitants should relocate. … Seismologists have warned for at least two decades that it is likely the sprawling capital will be struck by a catastrophic quake in the near future…

The catastrophic disaster soon to strike Iran has little to do with promiscuous women and much to do with the Israeli Air Force, inshallah.

“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,” Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media.

For proof, he cited figures from NASA and Hadley CRU, and the collected scientific works of Al Gore. The reliability, credibility, and adherence to rigorous scientific methodology is the same.

In 2003, a powerful earthquake hit the southern city of Bam, killing 31,000 people – about a quarter of that city’s population – and destroying its ancient mud-built citadel.

First suggestion: Don’t name any of your cities “Bam”, “Pow”, or “Ka-Boom”. Second suggestion: if they’re anywhere near a fault line, built them out of something other than mud. What century is this, again? What exactly is Iran spending all of those petrodollars on?

Ahmadinejad made his quake prediction two weeks ago but said he could not give an exact date.

I predict that an earthquake will hit San Francisco. I cannot give an exact date. Still, the only way to be safe is to immediately worship me and give all earthly power to me.

P.S. I’m still looking at you, Rio. Oh, yeah.

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