Scientologists ‘Heal’ Haiti Quake Victims Using Touch

It’s a humanitarian crisis of epic proportions. Send in the charlatans! — Amid the mass of aid agencies piling in to help Haiti quake victims is a batch of Church of Scientology “volunteer ministers”, claiming to use the power of touch to reconnect nervous systems. … “We’re trained as volunteer ministers, we use a process called ‘assist’ to follow the nervous system to reconnect the main points, to bring back communication,” she said. “When you get a sudden shock to a part of your body the energy gets stuck, so we re-establish communication within the body by touching people through their clothes, and asking people to feel the touch.” …

An “anonymous donor” paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to fly these flakes out to Haiti. Imagine how much actual help that much money could buy. (The article doesn’t say, and it would be churlish of me to speculate, whether or not these people acted with more speed and organization than President Obama.) Still, at least this cult is trying to help; for all the criticism and lies surrounding Israel’s presence in Haiti, one cannot help but notice the absence of any of her Middle East neighbors on the list of countries helping Haiti. But, back to the original article – how much “help” are these Scientologists providing?

…One US doctor, who asked not to be named, snorted: “I didn’t know touching could heal gangrene.” When asked what the Scientologists are doing here, another doctor said: “I don’t know.” Do you care? “Not really,” she said, wheeling an unconscious patient out of the operating room to join hundreds of others in the hospital’s sunny courtyard.

Scientology: It must be real science. They use beakers.

2 Responses to “Scientologists ‘Heal’ Haiti Quake Victims Using Touch”

  1. BabbaZee Says:

    For a nominal service charge you can reach nirvana tonight

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