What Hath Science Wrought?!

According to The Telegraph, a British scientific team is trying to create something analogous to Star Trek‘s Synthehol:

…An alcohol substitute that mimics its pleasant buzz without leading to drunkenness and hangovers is being developed by scientists. The new substance could have the added bonus of being “switched off” instantaneously with a pill, to allow drinkers to drive home or return to work. The synthetic alcohol, being developed from chemicals related to Valium, works like alcohol on nerves in the brain that provide a feeling of well-being and relaxation. But unlike alcohol its does not affect other parts of the brain that control mood swings and lead to addiction. It is also much easier to flush out of the body. Finally because it is much more focused in its effects, it can also be switched off with an antidote, leaving the drinker immediately sober. The new alcohol is being developed by a team at Imperial College London, led by Professor David Nutt, Britain’s top drugs expert who was recently sacked as a government adviser for his comments about cannabis and ecstasy. He envisions a world in which people could drink without getting drunk, he said. …

Apparently they took the plea by Huey Lewis seriously, although I have to wonder if this is a hoax given the name of Professor “Nutt” and the undisclosed “comments about cannabis and ecstasy” that got him sacked. As for “a world in which people could drink without getting drunk”, that’s just crazy talk!

…Eventually it would be used to replace the alcohol content in beer, wine and spirits and the recovered ethanol (the chemical name for alcohol) could be sold as fuel. Professor Nutt believes that the new drug, which would need licensing, could have a dramatic effect on society and improve the nation’s health. The NHS report Statistics on Alcohol: England, 2009 found more than 800,000 alcohol-related admissions to hospitals in 2007-08 – and more than 6,500 deaths – at a cost to the service of £2.7bn a year. Some charities estimate that the toll could be up to five times higher. Drink is, for example, a factor in 40 per cent of fatal fires, 15 per cent of drownings, 65 per cent of suicides and 40 per cent of domestic abuse. It also has other costs, including 17 million lost working days a year, worth about £20bn to the economy.…

“Replace.” Not be offered as another option, but “replace” alcohol because the government always works best when they impose a one-size-fits-all policy on us for our own good. And note the whole laundry-list of ways that this will improve society: Cheaper fuel! Health care savings! Reduced crime! Why, if all that isn’t worth a new Prohibition, I don’t know what is! (Only this time, the progressives won’t bother with going through all the work of obtaining a pesky Constitutional Amendment. Trying to amend – or simply comply with – the Constitution is far too much work, and not even worth the bother considering it’s just a flawed document created by dead raaaaacist white males.)

Yes, I know that nothing may come of this and I’m probably making a big deal over nothing, but seriously – don’t mess with my alcohol! You progressives can have all the spritzers and Zima you want, but don’t tread on mead!

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6 Responses to “What Hath Science Wrought?!”

  1. BulgarWheat Says:

    a crime against humanity

  2. BabbaZee Says:

    SCIENCE!

  3. cookielady Says:

    But what will they make to replace Romulan ale?

    Idiots. Really, the lot of them.

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