March 2016 Is the Sixth Temperature Record-Breaking Month in a Row, according to Slate. They didn’t even wait a few months to give us time to forget all of the snow we got in March. In fact, they published that story on 16 April – a week before all of these stories about a “Colorado blizzard.”
This was my car this morning. Snow and ice; I had to pull out a scraper to clear the windshield. Remember this in August, when the media uses the hot weather and short memories to re-post their annual “This is the warmest year on record!” propaganda pieces.
Mind you, I don’t actually object to this weather myself – I find it preferable to the cloud of pollen which would normally be strangling me at this time of year – but I can’t help noticing that, if they discuss this at all, that this is just “weather,” while the summer heat will be “climate.” Loki blames this weather on his brother Thor, which is exactly as credible a claim as anthropomorphic global warming.
I’ve seeing a lot of these moronic cartoons — mostly from the same small number of acquaintances — all about the evil fear-mongering from the right against the completely and utterly harmless and innocent
invaders refugees being foisted upon the country, but this one takes the cake. Apparently they (like George Takei) have forgotten that it was Democrat FDR who was responsible for the Japanese internment camps.
So, in response to what was no doubt overwhelming demand from some kool-aid drinking focus group still seeking ways for Hillary to [re]connect to millennials and reverse her plummeting poll numbers, a full emoji keyboard of Hillary Clinton and her pantsuits is now available for download for iOS and Android.
They’re call “Hillmojis”, and the apps will work across a variety of messaging platforms including Facebook Messenger, iMessage, WhatsApp, Kik, Tango and others; just so you know which social media sites to avoid. I was unimpressed with the quality of the artwork — I didn’t feel that they accurately portrayed Hillary as she is or what the future no doubt will (or should) hold for her — so I made my own humble offering:
A father in Dubai took his family to the beach for a picnic and some fun in the sun, only to have the day turn into needless tragedy. The father’s daughter began to drown a short distance from shore when lifeguards began the attempt to rescue her. But the father — who is apparently very strong — restrained the lifeguards from doing their job because “he prefers his daughter being dead than being touched by a strange man.” …
Not asked anywhere in the articles linked above: If this dude was such a big, strong man, and was right on the scene when the lifeguards were trying to charge in to save her, then why the hell didn’t he save his daughter’s life (and “honor”) himself?
… The father was later prosecuted. Not for negligent homicide or whatever its equivalent is in Dubai, but for restraining the lifeguards. Evidently, it’s not a crime to kill your daughter but it is against the law to restrain lifeguards.
You’ve heard of micro-aggressions, but do you really know what they are? And are you familiar with the entire spectrum of aggressions, from the lowest end of the scale to the highest? Here is the definitive list…
Zepto-aggression: An extremely tiny aggression by the least wacky of the Marx Brothers, which usually goes completely unnoticed and overshadowed by those of his brothers.
Atto-aggression: Masculinist aggression, sometimes followed by a high five and “atta boy!” exclamation.
Femto-aggression: Somewhat more offensive aggression, but they won’t you WHY they’re being aggressive, because if you loved them, you’d know.
Nano-aggression: Usually comes in pairs, and is the annoyance you feel when exposed to too much of Robin Williams’ shtick at one sitting.
Micro-aggression: Aggression caused by television personality Mike Rowe, who apparently visits a lot of Ivy League colleges if all of the complaints are to be believed.
Milli-aggression: Aggression caused when you realized that the pop group you’ve been listening to doesn’t actually sing any of their songs, but merely lip-synchs them.
Centi-aggression: Being one penny short on the purchase price for something.
Deci-aggression: When your wife has some ’splainin to do.
Deca-aggression: Caused by hipsters endlessly bragging about the superiority of vinyl recordings.
Hecto-aggression: The kind that makes you yell out “What the heck?!”
Kilo-aggression: This aggression can lead you to murder the perpetrator.
Mega-aggression: The kind experienced on a regular basis by the daughter on Family Guy.
Giga-aggression: Also from Family Guy, the reaction of feminists to Quagmire’s lechery.
Tera-aggression: The level of aggression that can lead to tera-ist attacks.
Peta-aggression: Aggressions perpetrated by radical animal-rights activists against fur-wearing old ladies, but never leather-clad bikers.
Exa-aggression: This, tripled, is the reaction by some feminists and fundamentalists to pοrn.
Zetta-aggression: The reaction of the entire human race during the genocidal invasion of aliens from Zeta Reticuli during the late 21st Century AD.
Yotta-aggression: There is no recorded case of anyone being this aggressive; although sociologists predict that such behavior would lead to violent mood swings and extreme shifts in behavior, followed by the banning of tens of thousands of people from a blog, ending with obscurity and Chee-tos.
Congress says that “veterans deemed too mentally incompetent to handle their own financial affairs [should] be prevented from buying a gun”. I say that anyone deemed “too mentally incompetent to handle their own financial affairs” should be prevented from serving in Congress.